10 LOVE LESSONS FROM CLAUDE MONET: Here’s an interesting article that I came across today that many on you will find interesting to read. I hope that you like this and please let me know if you want me to continue passing along these kinds of things, okay?
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From my friend Donna Cullen: I recently wrote an article titled 10 Love Lessons from Claude Monet and put it on my blog here:http://www.topdatingsites.com/blog/2012/10-love-lessons-from-claude-monet/. I think it’s an interesting read and was hoping you could take a look and if you like what you see, share it with others either via your site or any other means that you might be able to point people at something interesting (Twitter, FaceBook, email, etc.).
TEASE WITH A QUESTION: If you’ve ever listened closely to a professional speaker, you will notice that they often initiate their talks by asking their audiences a question. In fact, these speakers will frequently begin with the statement, “Let me ask you a question.” Then they will follow by asking something like: “Has there ever been a time when you felt totally helpless or afraid?” or “Have you ever been in a situation where everyone knew each other and you were the lone stranger?”
By asking a leading question, the listener is automatically forced to think. If done properly, this is an effective way to grab attention and involve your listeners quickly in a conversation with you.
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“If we would have new knowledge, we must get us a whole world of new questions.”
Susanne K. Langer ~ Author of Philosophy in a New Key (1942)
MAKE A BOLD STATEMENT: Like the headlines on the front page of The New York Times, it takes a bold statement to grab someone’s immediate attention. For example, around Valentine’s Day, you can start off a conversation by saying, “Flowers are a rip-off! The florist down the street is selling a dozen red roses for $100 plus $20 for delivery!” Another example might be: “Talk about terrible role models! The antics of Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are setting a terrible example for impressionable young people.”
Making a bold statement in itself doesn’t equate to good communication. You must also learn to qualify your remarks so that don’t offend others as well.
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“Boldness and decision command, often even in evil, the respect and concurrence of mankind.”
Robert Dale Owen ~ Scottish politician (1801-1877)
START OFF AT A SNAPPY PACE: Begin by speaking in short, simple sentences as a way of warming up. Sometimes this means being as basic as saying, “Hi! How are you? What’s up?” Like Olympic sprinters in the 100 meter run, a lively two-way conversation may take a series of quick small steps before you can hit your stride. Do this instead of beginning a conversation with a long, uninterrupted monologue on your part. We have all endured that unpleasant experience at times from others.
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“She talks with deliberation, as if pressing out a ruffle on each word.”
Marcelene Cox, in Ladies’ Home Journal (1942)
DON’T SPEND MAJOR TIME ON MINOR SUBJECTS: As a general rule, spend major time on major issues and only minor time on minor issues. A characteristic of low-achieving individuals is that they tend to spend the majority of their time talking about trivial things.
A smart strategy is to assess the significance of a particular topic and give this topic its proper allotment of time. Then move on to other topics that have greater significance to your audience.
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“Good communication is stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~ Author of Gifts From the Sea (1955)
STAY INFORMED ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS: If you want to relate to a wider range of people, be sure to stay current on the general topics of the day. You can keep abreast of things in our world by reading a quality newspaper, listening to stimulating talk radio shows, watching the national news on television, browsing the bookstore aisles, bookmarking key Internet sites, or skimming through magazines like Newsweek, Time, Sports Illustrated, Business Week, and People.
You never know when a conversation will turn to a hot topic on business, lifestyle, politics, sports, national news, or international developments. You will look a lot smarter in the eyes of others if you have something intelligent to say over a broad range of topics.
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“She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.”
Jean Webster ~ Author of Daddy Long Legs (1912)
PICK A MORE POSITIVE ANGLE ON A SUBJECT: When in doubt, always choose the more upbeat side of a topic. That doesn’t mean that you can’t see both sides of an issue. What I’m saying is that by keeping the majority of the focus and time of a conversation on constructive, positive ideas, everyone will have a more overall enjoyable experience. This usually rewards you with more enthusiastic, multi-person conversations than you would have if you talked too much or too long on negative, energy-draining subjects.
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Too much brillance has its disadvantages, and misplaced wit may raise a laugh, but often beheads a topic of profound interest.”
Margot Asquith ~ Author of More or Less About Myself (1934)
KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT: You don’t want to waste other people’s time by voicing strong or contradictory opinions on matters where you don’t have any knowledge or personal experience. When your references are thin, be especially sure to mentally check your facts before speaking. Even then, it might be wise to admit what you don’t know as well as what you do know about any given subject. This small act of honesty and humility will usually score some points for you.
At the other extreme, make sure that you don’t come across as a “know-it-all” by giving unsolicited advice. What you gain in respect for your display of knowledge may be lost in their affection towards you. But if people ask you first for your expertise, then by all means give them the best that you have to offer.
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“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but, far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
Dorothy Nevill ~ Author of Under Five Reigns (1910)
FOCUS ON TOPICS THAT INTEREST OTHERS: Your listeners will be more receptive to you when you talk in terms of their interests. “What’s in it for me?” or “What’s significant about this?” are questions that people naturally ask themselves unconsciously during many normal conversations.
While you can’t always find a topic that is of great interest to everyone involved in the conversation, it’s certainly wise to avoid subjects that are of absolutely little or no value to anybody. By choosing topics that other people enjoy or find interesting, you will have a better chance of getting a more lively exchange of ideas.
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“Conversation is like a dear little baby that is brought in to be handed round. You must rock it, nurse it, keep it on the move if you want it to keep smiling.”
Katherine Mansfield ~ Author of The Doves’ Nest (1923)
BE CAREFUL AROUND SENSITIVE ISSUES: We can do a lot of damage to key relationships by saying too much or revealing things that are better off being unsaid. That’s not to say that you can’t ever talk about important matters. I’m merely pointing out that in an initial social conversation, it is safer to avoid sensitive issues like politics, religion, money, and sex.
Along the same vein, it’s also wise to avoid prying into other people’s business by asking questions that are too personal in nature. Once you’ve established a solid base of rapport, there will be more appropriate opportunities in the future when you can freely venture into these sensitive areas.
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“Her conversation was like a very light champagne, sparkling but not mounting to the brain.”
Gertrude Atherton ~ Author of Transplanted (1919)
