TALK WITH MORE “YOU” AND LESS “ME”
This past spring I led a group of 39 senior citizens on a 7-day sightseeing tour to our nation’s capital, Washington D.C. “The District,” as it is commonly known, is a great place to visit especially in the springtime when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom.
Our 7 day trip was packed with many interesting activities including: a scenic lunch cruise on the Potomac River, a guided tour of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, a walking tour of the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, an evening illumination tour of all Washington’s monuments and memorials, a seafood dinner with crabcakes in a trendy Georgetown restaurant, and a visit to the battlefields of Gettysburg, to name a few.
At the end of our seven days together, I handed out an evaluation form to all of the passengers where they had an opportunity to rate the various aspects of the tour. Some of those aspects included: airline service, quality of the hotels, choice of restaurants, variety of attractions, and overall design of the tour, as well as the performances of the tour director and motorcoach driver.
On this particular trip, I received 38 very good-to-excellent reports on my performance as the tour director. Unfortunately, one dissatisfied tour client wrote on their evaluation form, “Steve Nakamoto likes to talk about himself too much. There were just too many I’s and me’s whenever he spoke to us.”
At first I was ticked off by this person’s evaluation and thought it was unfair to me considering all the things that I do for passengers on my tour. But this passenger did me a valuable service by reminding me of the delicate balance between sharing relevant personal experiences and not talking in terms of the other person’s interests.
The truth about human nature is that people will respond favorably to the words “you,” “we,” and “us.” On the other hand, many folks will soon tire of a speaker who refers to themselves by saying “I” and “me” too often.
In the future, I will remember to speak more in terms of the other person and keep my own personal references to the minimum. In addition, I will apologize in advance for sounding like I’m talking about myself too much. And if I do find myself telling a personal story I’ll also mention that I’m only doing so only for the benefit of the listener and not to draw unnecessary attention to myself.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Learn to talk in terms of the other person rather than in terms of yourself. You can do this quickly and easily by using the words “you”, “we”, and “us” in far greater abundance than the words “I” and “me.” By doing so, you’ll prevent your listeners from getting the negative impression that your communication is solely for your own entertainment.
