Dating-Love-Relationships.com ~ Steve Nakamoto's Blog

Last week, a woman wrote to me about her heartbreaking romantic breakup. When stating why the man left the relationship, she said that it had something to do with her having a bad temper, a bad attitude, and complaining too much.

My immediate reply to her was that she suffered from an overabundance of disguised negativity. What she didn’t realize is that negativity is more than just about talking in a negative manner. Negativity may take the form of other emotions such as sadness, anger, sarcasm, criticism, fear, disappointment, judgment, worry, doubt, regret, hurt, treating other people poorly, making other people wrong, frequent emotional upsets, and excessive confrontation.

Negativity is a lot like having weeds in your backyard garden. Both are realities of life that cannot be ignored. You can’t just be positive about everything and pretend that negativity does not exist. That’s like looking into a neglected garden and chanting in denial, “There are no weeds. There are no weeds.”

Negativity has its purpose. It can bring contrast to your life. It is like the minor key in music. It brings emotion to the surface. And it is also a call to action – for you to move out of a stuck negative state and into a more empowering one.

Think of negativity as something that must be conquered or else it will conquer you. You simply learn to experience the value of negativity, but then you move forward into a more resourceful state of mind.

In order to handle negativity more effectively, here are some helpful guidelines to follow:

1. Recognize when you’re in one: It’s like getting caught swimming in a riptide. Recognize that you’re in a riptide and then swim to the side. Most people don’t recognize the situation whether it’s a riptide or negativity. Without recognition, a person simply continues doing what they are doing to their own detriment.

2. Make a radical change in your body: This means to change such things as your facial expression from a frown to a smile, breathe deep instead of shallow, stand tall instead of slumped, or look up and not down.

3. Do something else: Change your focus by staying busy, occupying your mind, changing your environment, putting on some music, or hopping into the car and going to your favorite coffeehouse for a treat.

4. Change the meaning of your experience: Ask yourself this simple question, “What could be the empowering benefit or lesson from this experience?” Think hard on this until you come up with an answer or two that is real for you.

5. Put a new label on the experience: If you’ve labeled this experience as say “catastrophic” for example, change the key word or phrase to “a learning experience.”

Remember that being characterized as a “negative person” will naturally repel people and the opportunities they would bring to you. When negativity inevitably comes into your life, be sure to convert its energy into something of value so that you can continue being a source of wisdom, love, and joy which naturally attracts the good.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Learning to recognize and handle negativity is one of the great disciplines of life. Be sure to raise your awareness around this critical topic so that you can stop it from destroying your life. Remembering that negativity often comes disguised in other emotions is a big step towards getting your life back on track and moving in the direction of the desires that are deep within your heart.

Last night I attended a business meeting with an organization that I belong to named CEO Space. This is a networking group comprised for entrepreneurs from around the world who get together several times a year to share business ideas.

One of my first priorities in this particular setting is to make a strong first impression. I try to accomplish this by looking my best and engaging in purposeful, entertaining conversations. In addition, one of the clever things that I like to do is to make sure that I introduce myself first to others. I’ve found that this one simple idea provides the following key benefits for business success:

1. Makes you focus on the other person

2. Helps you remember the other person’s name

3. Demonstrates a classy gesture on your behalf

4. Gets you into a healthy proactive mindset automatically

For some people, introducing yourself at a networking event may be a big challenge. But with the proper awareness and preparation, it’s really simple and easy to do. There’s no sophisticated strategy or masterful skill involved when it comes to introducing yourself. All I do is put a smile on my face and in a friendly manner say, “Hi! I’m Steve Nakamoto” and then wait for their response. From there I’ll say something like, “So (state their name), what is it that you do or what kind of business are you in?” The conversation naturally flows from this point on.

When you get in the habit of introducing yourself first in a friendly, professional manner, it will make going to business networking events more effective and enjoyable for you in the future.

THE BOTTOM LINE

You can begin making great first impressions by simply developing the habit of introducing yourself first. By doing so, you’ll take immediate control of any situation that you face and boost your self-confidence as a natural by-product.